Monday, December 20, 2010

I survived yesterday

The weather turned out to be clear and not even that cold so we did the Christmas party thing anyways. It wasn't as bad as I was afraid it would be except for once, the rest of the time none of us at our table could identify the ones that I was trying to figure out so we sent my cousin to ask. The one time I should have known but thought it was a completely different person was when my Aunt (who was sitting next to me) got up to do something and fell and I Didn't see her chair was empty or see that it was her until she started talking. She was in an unfamiliar place. She seldom leaves her houses becasue she is so afraid of having to have another joint replaced and when she is out once she sits she stays put and lets people come to her. I didn't recognize her because there was no reason to think she would be up walking around so her name never occure3d to me as a possibility for who had fallen. Such is life with a brain injury. ONe part of my brain injurued was my visual memory and the part that is responsible for visual recognition. Prior to my 1st TBI I could recognize someone I had seen in passing at the corner store near my old college 2 years later at a new college and know where I recognized him from. After the accident I didn't recognize family members unless they spoke. Voices I still recognized which made it easy for me to hide just how little I remembered. I admit I have never told anyone in my family that for the first 4-5 years after the accident I was only sure it was them when they talked. I mostly just came off as more of an airhead than I had pre-accident.
 I was never really an air head it was just a persona I used so I could get left alone to study. When you get high marks without opening the text people tend to assume that you never study, do the reading, do any schoolwork outside the classroom but I discovered if people thought i was just a bit flaky they figured I needed to study and left me alone when I said I needed to study. I do admit I have always been a bit unique. My brother says eccentric. My mom used to warn people I was a bit different before they met me and not to be surprised by anything I said or did. I've always seen the world differently than most and people find that confusing but .....they have just as many problems with me now that I have lost many of the skills that made them have problems before. I can't win with those people. I have to see it as their problem not mine though.
I'm basically still the same me. A few changes but I still love music and sing whenever I can, love to read and can finish a book a day in most cases, do all kinds of crafts, and the list goes on. MOst days I say so what to things like the fact I may recognize a face but can't say if it is a family member, somoeone I know, a strnger that I see at the store often, or someone who just look familiar.I was just going through a box and found my certificate of pledged eyes. I signed it at the state fair in 1978. I was 15 so I could legally sign it and then I dragged my mom in and made her donate as well.
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